You want to move to Russia
Well, you better be prepared to fend off an attack
Because when I raised my arm up like this,
A wolf was just holding my hand, trying to claw my hand.
I wanted to open his mouth and put my fist all the way there,
All the way to his throat. But I could not open him.
Eventually I had to murder with an Axe.
My flatmate is dead and doesn't know why
A pair of trousers found at the property contain my DNA
Spattered with his red rum.
I told a doc I was hearing
Voices that were going to harm me,
Making me panic - I definitely hate panicking!
So I grabbed the Axe
And h i t him 15 times
My father kept an Axe by his bedside to
protect him from me!
Mother was speaking over the internet to her friends,
It was the late night, so I turned off the light
And grabbed that thing from the frail senile.
I hit him 10 times, he fell, he crouched on the floor and
Still I hit him, and watched him die.
The man who was mother's assaulter-
And he begged me to kill him with the Axe he kept by his bedside!
Then I came in and saw the two of them together,
My sister and the boy wanting to get inside of her.
I couldn't think of anything but killing him and her.
So first I thought of hacking the dude,
But he jumped through the window and so I turned to her
Then damn! In came mother and father SCREAMing at Me!
I swung the Axe and killed them both - no witness was to remain
So I chased after my niece and nephew and killed them too.
5 members down, and I there was still blood on the fuckin Axe!
Mother always cut the chicken every Sunday morning,
She'd ask me to bring the Axe, and she'd murder our meal with passion
For keeping her family alive, mother died from chicken disease.
I only knew of 3 other people staying near home on the island
So on the second weekend after mother's death, there was no more safe chicken
I knew of. I was starving and so I took the Axe with me to the next home
I met the selfish man down at the barn and hit him 4 times in the neck and dome
I survived for another week until the 2 men came and tried to murder me too.
I no-longer work and don't attend school
So I went to mother and grandmother and
Asked them for an allowance of only $50/day - sure they refused!
There was a butcher knife on the kitchen table,
So I grabbed it, and pushed them to the couch like it was about be the murder ritual-
There was that fucking expensive phone humming, so I smashed it first
Then I went outside, to the place I'd locked the family dogs
I definitely had the Axe by now,
And then I mutilated them canines into a crimson fog!
Went back, told mother and grandmother the epic as I pulled a gun.
Enough murder for the day,
I went and put the Axe Away
No one found the dogs anyway, but I was too tired to say
The Police locked me up, because there's an Axe for everyone anyway.
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DISCLAIMER : Apart from one incidence, this poem is entirely based on reports of True Axe-Murder cases reported on the inter-webs(see sources below).
Premeditated Murder is immoral and often SEVERELY punishable by law with MURDER!
This piece of literature is not meant to inspire, but educate the mentally unstable masses out there (and that might be everyone), that killing with an Axe is indeed an evil act we should all avoid.
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SOURCES:
As this is a bad found poem, the Axe-murder sources in order of their use are:
The horrific awesome art is from Aliisza.
