God, what can I possibly know about God?
Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
God, what can I possibly believe about God?
Anything! Absolutely anything!
In this current state...
What should inform my sense of direction?
Wisdom from reason?
Wisdom from faith?
Can I even trust intuition if I can't trust its source?
I, Who am I?
It's all Relative!
By Faith as By Reason
It's all Relative!
Futility at its Best!
What really motivated Christ, Buddha, Nietzsche and the others?
And so,
I currently fight everything and everyone!
The Church, The Government, The Faculty
Hell! Am even at war with The Devil!
Where is anything to hold onto but Chaos?
Necessary Rebellion leaves me labelled an obstinate hipster!
Oh, and after all that,
There's still our classic mystery - God!
Imagine if there wasn't anything for us to relate to...
Imagine if we were just absolute - at once united with all existence,
Devoid of any variation and uncertainty.
It would be a boring existence, right?
My mind can't even begin to contemplate absolute simplicity and homogeneity as
The absolute reality underlying all existence, can it?
Oh God! You should've been merciful in your design
That you gave curiosity and a yearning for more to this thing called man.
Maybe, assuming lesser roles is our blessing,
A gift for us to deal with only that which we can accommodate...
Maybe, being God isn't actually any fun,
Maybe that's the Absolute Hell so sought after by those on the Left?
What could be more Individualistic, more Egotistic, more Satanic than
Controlling all the affairs of the Cosmos, keeping all where they should be
Judging, Creating and Destroying, Blessing and Cursing as One Desires...
Maybe that's why attempting to be God is Suicidal and Dark!
Maybe we should all just be like Children, said Christ
Content with being lead and accepting fate as it falls into place-
Embracing uncertainty and chaos!
Sobbing and laughing at existence every once in a while.
Oh, but you planted in us a desire...
You modelled me after yourself...
And so, in mine current state, the yearning to experience it all
To once again be united with my real Self
To once again assume the role I was modelled upon
To once again be God!
That seed's still in me, because you modelled me after yourself!
God, you are not a sadist, are you?
Why evade me so much?
Why cause us so much hatred and conflict concerning you?
Oh, please God, take this burden off my mind
And make known to me your true essence.
If mine mind must be momentarily removed from this limiting vessel of matter,
So mote it be.
Ultimately,
I wish, I desire
To experience you
United with you-
For me to not just know and believe in you,
But to Be
The True, Absolute and Mysterious God!
To Be One with You.
In my current, limited and mortal state,
Am only this unaware, but hopeful part of God
And I see much reason to lament this life!
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